• TRA!N-CR4SH //
  • Alexis/20/Detroitish
    I like aggressive images and creativity.
    None of this belongs to me unless stated, and I always try to provide proper credit. If something you created appears here uncredited, let me know and I will correct it. Enjoy.

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Self, be better

Just do your dishes when as soon as you’re done eating. Better yet, do them when you’re done cooking.

Don’t chain smoke during work breaks. That second cigarette is not going to make you feel any better.

Don’t lie to people about sexual health. That’s a really shitty thing to do to someone, it’s hypocritical, and you’re going to feel guilty later when you realize how shitty and hypocritical it is.

Don’t let your genitals dictate what you do.

Just because you’ve gotten by on four hours of sleep before and been fine, it doesn’t mean you should do that regularly. Do you really need to stay up late tonight? Or do you just want to? There will be time tomorrow to dick around online, stop staying on forums until 3 in the morning and then thinking, oh shit, I should go to sleep.

Get at least 7 hours.

Don’t hang out with people you don’t actually like that much. You have plenty of friends, you don’t really need to call people “friends” who bug the shit out of you.

Understand that just as you hope people understand when you’re too busy/tired/stressed to hang out with them, sometimes they are in the same position. It’s not really personal. This day/week is just not the time.

You don’t have to spend $7 on Starbucks every day. Bring snacks from home. And you don’t really need those extra ingredients in your white mocha every day.

Do you really need that sweater from ebay or that dress at Marshall’s or wherever? No. You have too many clothes as is. You don’t need a new garment to feel better about life, but you do need that $20 for necessities.

Just do your damn laundry already. It takes five minutes to put a load in the washer and two minutes to put it in the dryer. You don’t even have to think about it. Throw the clothes in in the evening and put them in the dryer before you go to bed. Bam.

Put your dirty dishes in the washer asap. They will build up, and it will be gross.

Dispose of used cans and bottles. They will build up. It looks sloppy.

Multitask whenever possible. If you don’t want to do something, try to do it at the same time as something else so you can feel accomplished and it’s out of the way and you’re not thinking as much about how you don’t want to be doing it.

Don’t wait until Sunday night to start your homework. You will ALWAYS regret it.

If you have an issue with somebody, confront them, and if you feel like you can’t or really shouldn’t confront them, let it go. By paying mind to people you can’t stand you are only making yourself feel worse/dwell on negativity, while it has absolutely no effect on them.

Make appointments as soon as the need arises. If you can’t do it at that moment, write it down so you can as soon as office hours are open. It usually only takes like five minutes to do.

Don’t wait until the night before an exam to study. Study a little bit whenever you have time, it’s okay if it’s not totally comprehensive all at once. Drill it in your brain through repetition. You will remember things better after repeated exposure. This could mean five minutes of looking over notes before bed on a Thursday. It could be any time.

When you have a sexual experience, don’t go tell the whole fucking world. Tell a close girlfriend or two, whatever, but everybody doesn’t need to know. So you got laid yesterday? Congrats! So did millions of other people. Nobody cares as much about your sex life as you do.

Do write it down, though. Don’t show anyone, but write it down, or type it out, or something. You will enjoy being able to look at that memory later when the details have faded.

Don’t make people into plot devices. They are people. They are all just as real and just as important as you.

Don’t push responsibility and blame onto other people. Very often, the problem is not what they actually did, the problem is how you allowed yourself to respond to it.

Also don’t blame yourself for things that have nothing to do with you. Sometimes things will happen and there is nothing you can do.

Be honest with others and yourself about what you want. If you don’t know what you want, that’s okay; be honest about that, too.

Go for what you want—you cannot expect to get anything if you don’t ask for it, work for it, and/or take it. The world will not just hand you things on a whim.

Recognize that you have a lot to learn. Write things down as you discover them, or make a mental inventory. Learn about anything at all; the moment you stop learning, you’ve limited your potential in life, which truly is endless.

0 ♥

so it’s not like i’m in some continuous state of bliss or anything,

but,

i am happy.

really happy.

1 ♥
jus chillin wit my furs
3 ♥

I like masks, veils, daily disguises, and creative liberties with nature. I am intrigued by distortion, disconnect, and distance. I am too familiar with the idea of hiding. I like massive structures and big ideas. I like a little discomfort. Isn’t it odd how you can become so familiar with an idea or feeling, and spend so much time analyzing it, or coping with it, that it eventually becomes beautiful to you? Beautiful, interesting, whatever word you find appropriate. I like an element of disjointedness. Harmonious chaos. I seek out images and inspirations that manifest those parts of me that I feel unable to, or unprepared to. I dream of falling, sinking, and floating. Enraptured in and removed from my environment, like always. I’m like anyone.

0 ♥

dude

i fucking love my blog. i’m sorry, i just had to put it out there. i love this shit. there are so many creative people everywhere, i fucking love seeing it all floating around together on tumblr. that is all.

1 ♥

The only thing I can realistically seem to want right now is to have a good cry. That’s it. I just want to cry…but I can’t even do that.

0 ♥

mermaid-grenade asked: yellow, purple, black

Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood

1. I lived in Detroit by its southwest edge until I was 13. It was by no means the type of neighborhood you would envision raising your child in, but I miss it, and I wouldn’t be who I am or have the perspective I do now if I’d grown up anywhere else.
2. My dad played a minimal role in my life and I only saw him once or twice a year on average. Sometimes I would go a year or more without seeing him and we lost contact when I was 12.
3. I LOVED digging in my dirt driveway and playing with the bugs. I thought the little civilizations ants create was the craziest shit ever, basically. I would dig holes all the time and I have no idea why.
4. I had a dog named Shadow who I loved and adored and I miss very much to this day. She was a Chocolate Labrador/Newfoundland/German Shepherd mix, had thick black fur and pointy ears, an absolutely terrifying bark, and the sweetest personality ever. People were so scared of her until they came in the house and she would immediately jump on them and give them kisses and love. She put up with me trying to get on her back and ride her like a horse and I took her for walks all the time, partially because for a long time my mom didn’t want me wandering around my neighborhood alone lol
5. I was really into bird-feeding and read all kinds of books about birds. All the pigeons in the neighborhood would crowd around my backyard every day around 4 o’clock when I was about to put out food, and as soon as I walked a few feet away from the feeder they would swoop down and devour all of it.
6. I learned what sex was when I was like…4 or 5 and had these rudimentary sexual fantasies, even though I didn’t realize everyone looked different “down there”. hahahahaha
7. I had two main best friends before middle school, Shivani and Tabitha. Shivani was the quintessential “good girl” and Tabitha was the opposite, always very outspoken, always getting in trouble, and always loving attention from boys. I still have some pictures Tabitha drew for me and one of those books from the Scholastic book sales, all about best friends, where we wrote all over about how we were sisters and would be best friends, yin and yang for life. She balanced me out because I was really, really, REALLY fucking shy and awkward and never talked to people.

Purple: 10 facts about my room

1. It’s in transit. Half of my stuff is in my (tiny) bedroom and half of it is in the basement, where I plan to move everything and sleep now that only two people live in my house.
2. My desk is a disaster and is covered in empty candy wrappers, old Starbucks containers, jewelry, old mail, trinkets, and mystery shit.
3. I used to have band posters, fashion editorial photos, and drawings pasted over almost every inch of my walls.
4. I like to move my room around every couple of years because I truly believe in “feng shui”.
5. It would take me hours to list and describe all of the trinkets, figurines, statuettes, etc that I have laying around. I own a lot of random decorative objects from different places, states, stores, people and they all have sentimental value to me. I hoard.
6. On my door is a poster I made for myself one day last summer when I was robotripping and depressed and decided I needed to make something motivational to calm myself. It’s just swirly text reading “It’s Ok!” and some other little notes, and tbh you can totally tell someone on drugs made it.
7. I have a huge empty Russian vodka bottle sitting on one of my shelves, which I acquired after a party a few years ago. My sister has some Russian friends who would always bring their authentic Russian shit with them and I just thought the design was cool, even though I didn’t even drink at the time.
8. I have five pillows on my twin bed and three or four blankets at any given time because I like to feel like a little princess when I go to sleep.
9. It is a mess in here. Literally ALL THE TIME.
10. If you dig hard enough you will without fail always find some kind of candy, crackers, chips, nuts, or something buried in the piles of clothes and magazines and shit that cover my floor.

BLACK: 1 fact about the person I like

1. This might sound boring but I don’t really “like” anyone right now. I really miss having crushes and emotional attachments to people but for some reason it just doesn’t seem to happen to me anymore. WELP. (actually I hate it and it sucks balls)

0 ♥

ALL I DREAM OF IS COFFEE AND SEX

(sometimes in the same dream)

3 ♥

I have not taken any medication in about two weeks—I should have marked the last day but oh well—and despite poorly planning the decision I am so beyond glad that I stopped. I know my thoughts now are mine. I don’t know if I feel like a different person or anything like that, but I don’t feel fogged, I don’t feel as sluggish all the time, I don’t have to deal with this awful, disorienting brain-ache if I forget to take it, I don’t feel this bullshit strain of obligation from it. It served its purpose and helped me a hell of a lot but that time, as far as I can tell, has passed. I have essentially been under the influence for almost two years and now I actually feel things, and without feeling the need to smoke all the fucking time to do so (despite the fact that this always eventually backfires). Fucking a it feels good. I am me, 100%, and goddamngoddamnIsaidgoddamn it feels good.

4 ♥

things running through my mind lately

North Korea news and propaganda, “National Anthem” Lana Del Rey, handgun training/CPL courses, Amnesty International meetings, self-creation/actualization, political science and social science courses, social work and art therapy, Middle Eastern pop singers, hip-hop, getting a kitten, getting a second job at Starbucks, making money$, webcam stripping, having sex, transferring credits from Wayne/OCC/Schoolcraft, what the fuck kind of degree do I want and what am I going to do with it, decorating clothes, long hair, 50 Cent, retail sucks, relationships are fucked up and weird and annoying, I love driving, I wanna go to Funk Night and City Club and Necto and all these places I couldn’t easily go before, getting more tattoos, Bates burgers, the presence of juggalos in my life, commission work, ceramics, missing my CCS buddies, weddings, growing up, what the fuck is life, how can one person have so many totally disparate-sounding interests?

1 ♥

How can you mourn for something you never had?

1 ♥

IT’S MY BIRTHDAIII

20 years old what is life??

About to go out and enjoy the sun, love you allll

4 ♥

soo i got gels done on my nails for the first time on a whim

and now im scared to do anything cos it feels fucking weird having these like appendages attached to the tips of my fingers

i feel like theyre gonna fall or rip off or some shit this i weird

but i feel kinda swag

#lolatme

how am i gonna pack bowls with these on hmm

1 ♥

new direction?

WHITE.

I’ve never worked with much white, personally. I love color and I love complexity. I wonder where I can go if I take my work and flip it.

0 ♥

I love humanity and I hate people sfm sometimes

Like seriously THINK WITH YOUR GODDAMN HEAD AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON ON THIS PLANET.

Pls don’t talk to me I can’t handle any more potential annoyances

ok I’m done being a whiny bitch sorry guys love u goodnight

0 ♥
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